The Weird Way to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed

a calm woman is not overwhelmed
She doesn’t even know how to spell ovarwelm.

Are you feeling overwhelmed? That’s normal. Life is overwhelming by nature. We have unlimited paths, unlimited ways to improve ourselves, unlimited amounts of money, and unlimited problems. But interestingly, this means that overwhelm isn’t actually an issue of having too much to deal with (we always do), it’s a matter of perspective and temperament.

Typically, it’s when we realize that we feel we don’t have enough time or energy to do particularly critical things that we feel overwhelm. Or just one intensely emotional or traumatic event can make us feel overwhelmed.

How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed

To stop overwhelm, the solution isn’t to go into hyper-productive mode and try to solve everything at once. Overwhelm means that you already feel pressured to do that! That’s actually the problem, not the solution. The solution to overwhelm is weird because it doesn’t address the many sources of your overwhelm, but how you interpret them.

The solution? Sit or lie down and take some deep breaths. Or do nothing. When you put a stop the frenetic pace of your mind and body, you can see the truth of the situation. Notice that taking a moment doesn’t ruin your life immediately. It doesn’t cause a fire. Taking a moment doesn’t create 10 more problems. Taking a moment proves that overwhelm is only in the mind. Relaxing for a moment won’t ruin your life.

But what if you actually have 35 things to do with only enough time to do 14 of them? Then isn’t overwhelm a logistical problem? Actually, no. Because if you only have time to do 14 of them today, that’s what you do. Being overwhelmed doesn’t give anyone superpowers. There’s no need to stress yourself out about it. Stress can push us into action, of course, but it’s mostly meant for very short-term situations, like when an alligator starts chasing you (fun fact: most humans can outrun alligators. Don’t zig-zag, just run).

Overwhelm manifests as stress, which is very taxing on our minds and bodies. If you let it continually affect you, you will become less productive, more tired, and more paralyzed.

My Experience

When I begin to sense overwhelm, I will sit down on the couch or even lie down. This reaffirms to me that no figurative or real alligator is chasing me, because if it were, I wouldn’t be able to rest without being eaten. Once I settle down, I will then target one thing I can do right now that I know will bring some amount of progress. After doing this, I’ll feel better because I have positive momentum, and can move on to the next thing.

The interesting thing to me about overwhelm is how often I’m wrong. When I feel like I have too many things to do, but I go through this process and start doing them, I often find that I’m able to complete what I want to for the day.

As I’ve gotten better at minimizing overwhelm, which is a perspective and not a permanent status, I’ve found myself to be a lot more relaxed and productive. And it makes sense that a relaxed mind would be more productive.

I’ve been watching playoff baseball, and I find it interesting that many of the pitchers and batters will take deep breaths between pitches. It seems odd at first, because sports are supposed to be intense and competitive, not relaxing! But the players know that they can focus better if their mind is at ease. Here’s a short video of MLB network discussing how important breathing and relaxation is for performance.

How to Win or Lose in Tense Situations

The best way to blow it in a clutch situation in sports is to think about how important the situation is, to fantasize about being the hero, or worry about making a critical mistake. None of that has anything to do with your ability to execute! That’s why it’s always easier to make practice shots—there are no pressurized distractions to compromise your focus.

Think of yourself like one of these athletes when overwhelm hits you. When it feels like game 7 with 2 outs, bases loaded, and a full count, remember that you’re going to be at your best if your mind is calm, basically in practice mode. Breathe deeply through your nose. Then, focus on the mechanics of your next simple step forward, and calmly win that moment. Soon enough, you’ll see that you’ve also won the day and did better than you ever would have being overwhelmed.

Final thought: Don’t rush this process. Don’t predetermine that you’ll sit for one minute and go right back to being overwhelmed. Take as much time as you need to get your mind and body ready. Don’t worry, your problems and responsibilities won’t go anywhere without you. Face them when you’re ready, and not a moment sooner.

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